Thursday, April 29, 2010

The bastard son of a hundred maniacs

For as long as I can remember my fiance Ryan has been obsessed with Freddy Kreuger. On top of owning the movies, we have the soundtrack on vinyl, several Freddy figurines and although Ryan says it's unrelated, one of our dogs is named Freddy! Tonight is the night that Ryan has been waiting for all year. At midnight we are going to catch the new Freddy movie. Jackie Earle Haley has some large shoes to fill, as he takes on Robert Englund's role as the bastard son of a hundred maniacs. I was introduced to Freddy fairly late as the first one I watched was actually the sixth installment, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. Although die-hard Freddy fans often to refer to this as yet another shitty sequel where Freddy loses his edge, I would have to disagree. I was too young to remember all of the details but I will never forget how this movie gave me an unnatural fear of Q-tips. One of the characters named Carlos had a Q-tip stabbed through one ear and out the other, forcing out his hearing aid. He needed the hearing aid as a result of the abuse he suffered at the hand of his mother who by the way, rivals Freddy for the title of the most evil and sick fuck ever. I'll always remember little Carlo's pleading, "No, no, Mama, please. I've been a good boy....Please don't make me deaf, Mama." Freddy proceeds to slice off Carlos' ear and in true Kreuger fashion says, "Oh, Carlos, lend me your ear." I had my mom cut up every single Q-tip in the house to make sure that Freddy wouldn't be able to do that to me. I have a feeling I won't be getting a good night's sleep tonight...or all week for that matter.

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